Reacting to The Ick List Problem [16:48-21:51]

overexposure and endless options on social media, which we know has been a problem. Apps like TikTok and Instagram and dating profiles have given people specifically women. This illusion that there are always better and available options out there for them. What does it they always say if he won't do it someone else will? When you feel like you have unlimited choices, your brain becomes more selective and critical. Tiny imperfections make you feel like it's a valid reason to move on. And they start tricking. And then when you move on to the next person, the next person is going to have something that gives you an ache again. And then you go to the next person and the other person something that gives you the ache again. It's never going to be perfect, girl. Getting normal human behaviors like their defects. So next in a really weird disturbing way, this ends up building community between women. It creates the sort of effed up social group bonding where women can validate each other by going, yeah, I do see that every time when I get to a post like this for some reason. And I open the comments on like no way. Anybody is like agreeing with that. And I see everyone. I see all the women agree with each other. I'm like, what the fuck? We're normal and we're cool and we're perfect and manner just gross. And now because of this, women are almost exclusively whether consciously or unconsciously looking for flaws instead of connection. Then we have the avoidance and vulnerability factor. We all know this kind of person. You may be this person or have been this person in the past. But the kind of person who has been hurt so badly hurts so many times before that they now build up these massive walls around them to avoid ever getting hurt again. These exact type of people are using eclists as a defense mechanism to either protect themselves or to reject you before you get a chance to reject them. This is a very common tactic for people who try to reclaim control over their own heartbreak. If they sabotage the relationship before it even starts, they don't run the risk of it being sabotaged for any other reason outside of their control. Right, right. Lastly, it's just plain contempt. For the people who are posting these X while already in long-term relationships, they're just kind of showing their hand that contempt, one of the four horsemen of the divorce and breakup apocalypse, has already entered the scene. Well, this contempt, sorry, a strong feeling of intense dislike, superiority and lack of respect for someone or something deemed worthless or despicable is often characterized by scorn, disdain and a sense of disgust, frequently expressed through nonverbal cues like a sneer or by holding someone in low regards. I once saw a comedian talk about how when you hate someone, everything they do pisses you off. You'll be like, Yeah, I have to say, if the things that they are posting about their partners is real and not just for the views, then it's really why are you even with them? Like, look at the way they're looking at the floor. They look at the floor so stupid and it's because you hate them. So if you're posting these ik videos about a person that you allegedly love or care about, it's time to face the fact that you either actually hate them or have so much unaddressed resentment or them that it is now manifesting as hate. If all of these normal things make you really feel like this, then why are you there? Why are you still in this relationship? Like, please. And this is causing real issues and problems and relationships. For one thing, men are becoming hyper conscious of their behavior. Men are starting to overanalyze everything they do, suffering from anxiety as a result, constantly walking on eggshells. I'm sure a lot of you know the feeling. And this fear of judgment leads to inauthentic behavior. If every single thing could disqualify you, you stop showing up as your real self. And if you're constantly performing or masking who you really are just to try to make the relationship work, then that's all your relationship is ever going to be, is a show, a performance. Yeah, don't be in a relationship where you have to pretend to be someone that you're not. But don't let yourself suffer like that. A real connection. And then women wonder why don't men open up because you're going to call it an ik when they do. And all of this, all of this, is contributing to the mass corrosion of empathy toward men. This is something that I've talked about a lot on this channel before, but there is a massive empathy gap when it comes to men versus women. Men are and always have been reduced to punchlines. We love to just flatten their humanity. We love to ignore their efforts, dismiss their intentions. I'm sure you've heard people say things like, oh, who will think of the men? Like, it's so many times. So many times, who is thinking of the men? When not even their loved ones are thinking of them enough to not publicly ridicule them on social media. This is feeding into this broader cultural narrative that is leaving men feeling replaceable and just inherently disappointing no matter what they do.