Best of David Cross Comedy | Stand-Up Comedy Compilation [42:33-45:21]

Yeah, okay, well, that's Cantonese, so that's not. Hey, you're going for it. That's fine. That's not a lot of people won't do it. All right. All right, ready? That wasn't the script, this is the script. Oh, no, that wasn't the script. That was the script about the script. Yeah, well, all right. Are you ready? Yeah, okay. Hi, hi, I'm Marlo and I'm six. I'm Eve. I'm six, too. Want to play with me on the monkey bars? Yeah, okay. We have to pray the Pledge of Allegiance first. What's that? The Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag. I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America except for New York and California. And to the Republicans for which it stands, one nation under the police with, aren't you going to do it? I don't know what that is. It's the official saying of America. I do it at school. Oh, what school do you go to? I go to PS62. You call your living room PS62? No, that's my school. Miss Claven is my teacher. She also plays piano, too. My school is at home and my mommy teaches me. Oh, your mommy is a teacher? Well, now she is because the old school was teaching us lies. Oh, I know what a lie is, like two plus two is five or something like that. Two plus two is five. No, no. A lie is like saying that black people didn't want to be slaves or that there are Jews in heaven. A made up lies like that. Like when the old school tried to teach us symbol rights. What symbol rights? Civil rights is a trick of the devil to get us to like other people. Did you know that Jews are the devil, too? Angus? In fact, the Jewish Democrat devil invented rainbow flags to groom us and decided me. They won't teach us at school either, so that's why mommy teaches me now to keep me safe. Well, safe from what? From the Hollywood pedophiles or the communist Jews or Muslims or Mexicans or lip-tards or angry lazy black mermaids who are all out to get me. Oh, can we play now? I have to make sure you're not vaccinated first. Because of the bookies in there? No, because George Soros and AOC and the liberal woke fake news. Sorry, I'm not really that comfortable with this. Oh, just read it, just read it.