Best of David Cross Comedy | Stand-Up Comedy Compilation [0:00-2:31]

There are truly so many awful things about having a child, but there are. But one of the worst is I now have to engage in small talk and chitchat that I never would ever give the time of day too, and you have to do it all the time. And before I had a kid, if I was hanging out at the playground, no, but if I was at the park or something, and before I had a kid, and then some guy would, you know, referencing a bunch of noisy kids, some guy would be like, engage me and go like, oh, man. Boy, they're a handful, huh? Like before I had a kid, my response would be, what the fuck? And I'd walk away, and I'd be correct to do so. That'd be the right thing to do. But now I have to engage with that person because that's a potential play date. And you have to have as many potential play dates in your back pocket as possible, because it is inevitable that at some point, my wife will be out of town, and I will wake up still, I mean, not even hung over. Just drunk. I'll be drunk. I will clinically be drunk, and I'm going to have to put that kid somewhere for an hour just to take a shit. And so I have to talk to that person now, and I have to be nice and all that, and the thing is, I live in Brooklyn. So there's just tons of younger hipster parents, tons. And I can't stand them. And I didn't like them when I was part of that scene. And I really don't like it. So I'll be at the playground with my daughter. And this guy will roll up. And they're like the kind of guys that got those bright orange, like longshoreman, woolly hats, but then they roll it all the way up. You know what I mean? They roll it way too. That's too rolled up. It's not even over your ears. It's not doing the one single thing a hat is fucking made for. And you're bald. And so now it's just like a pasty for your head. I don't understand.